Archive for March, 2008
– I am freakin’ full of rage today. Rarrr. Rarr. I bet you can feel my rage through the Internets.
– I am also very tired. I haven’t really slept well since Saturday when I slept all day. Probably contributing to massive rage issue.
– Also, also, my eye is twitching like I’m stressed out or something.
– On a note that’s possibly related to all of this, tryouts for derby are on April 15th.
Make of this list what you will. I am too tired to analyze it.
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I offered to let the boyfriend try to get to second base with Scarlet Johansen should he ever have the opportunity (and given the way that the holllywood types have been showing up at derby, its totally within the realm of possibility). He’s been cursing his social awkwardness ever since the offer has been made. I was just being funny, but the whole conversation got me thinking.
Do kids in other countries use culturally appropriate sports metaphors for touching a girl’s boobies? I’m sure there’s a good “I knocked her wicket right off” joke in there somewhere. See above about the tired.
March 27th, 2008
I want to hump them. They are so sexay and grippy and lovely.
Let me back up to the wheels that came with my skates, for anyone who may be reading this who might be interested in a starter derby package.
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM PINK SURE GRIP ZOOMS.
Also, apparently the green ones. The red ones, for some reason, don’t seem to be giving people problems.
The pink Zooms are very very hard and slippery. They have what seem to be extra deep groves that pick up every speck of dirt on the track. I’ve been spending 45 minutes after practice to scrape the accumulated gunk out of the wheels with a variety of tools and they’re still not clean. Skating on these wheels is like riding in a car with no suspension. You feel every tiny crack on the infield (and forget about the bigger ones) and where each panel of the track meets the next. You get 0 traction in your stride.
The Witch Doctors though… they’re like skating on grippy fast clouds. I’m gonna have their little blue “VooDooThane” babies. All 8 of them.
Tags: roller derby, wheels
March 18th, 2008
The water did in the FantasticFujiFunpix that I got for Christmas last year.
I will be accepting nominations for my new camera.
*sigh*
Tags: camera
March 14th, 2008
Dear Track,
We really have to stop meeting like this.
I appreciate the way your slopes hurtle me into the straights when I can remember to skate the track and push through the turns. I cherish your rail, which guards me from being flung out of the corners. In fact, I am even grateful for your cushy, smooshy masonite, without which I would be left to fling my ample ass onto less forgiving surfaces such as concrete or hardwood.
But seriously, Track…
It’s not you. It’s me. My left thigh has been drawn to you like cats to a laser pointer for the last two weeks. I can’t take it anymore. I’m losing sleep, literally. Like, I can’t sleep on my left side and I’m a toss-turn sleeper. I’m putting my skate down, Track (and then picking it up again… over and over… ’cause that’s how derby works) and vowing to end this torrid affair you’re having with my thigh. It will be hard, I know. It is so meaty and luscious, what track wouldn’t want to gobble that thigh up? But I know if I bend my knees and stay low and stick my ass out like I’m pooping on the track, I can put an end to my thigh’s fascination with your lovely gray surface. Also, I’m calling in reinforcements.
<3 <3
me
Tags: bruises, roller derby
March 12th, 2008
Hello!
So far the outcome of the water debacle is Purse = Fine, Camera = unsure still, but not holding out hope. I’m going to put my spare battery in and try to charge it tomorrow and hope for the best. If not, I have just enough credit card points left to get me a new one from the evil blue and yellow store… I believe Mir refers to it as “Excellent Purchase”? The more I try and boycott them, the more they suck me back in. Bastards.
On the derby front… I have been “track cleared” but not “all skate cleared.” What this means is that when the track is free, I can, with another person for safety, go and skate on it. I cannot participate in the league-wide all skates. While I’m not a danger to myself or others, the trainer I talked to is pretty sure I will get my ass handed to me and wants me to get “a little more confident.” I’m not arguing with her. All skate scares the ever-loving hell out of me, and while I want to participate to get over my fear… you know… sometimes the fear is there for a reason.
I’m at that weird point in activities where I start to plateau and get bored. I really don’t want that to happen with derby. When I started I had so few expectations of what I was going to be able to do that when I started succeeding it felt great. The successes are harder to come by now, which means I need to push that much harder to get them. Hopefully I can get my sad-sack self motivated to get to the track on non-fresh-meat days and actually make myself do the hard things. Oh, transitions! I hate you and your friend “skating backwards”! But I will CRUSH you.
Tags: camera, oh noes, roller derby, teh suck
March 11th, 2008
I managed to dump a whole liter of water in my very nice purse today because I apparently didn’t managed to close the top all the way. Also, I am a spaz.
My camera. I’m pretty sure its shorted out. Pray for it. *tear*
There will be no further Photo a day pictures until this is sorted.
Oh yeah. I also fully expect to have to pay at least 1k in taxes. Flail.
Tags: spaz
March 8th, 2008
After much deliberation and friend-polling, I made a hasty decision in seconds and disregarded everyone else’s opinion. Because opinions? They’re like assholes. Everyone’s is different, ya know?
Anyway, my derby name is Tilda Whirl. And I think its fucking awesome.
And if you don’t, I don’t particularly care.
Tags: roller derby
March 6th, 2008