Archive for May, 2008
My friend in Troy, NY is in a coffee shop trying to get some work done when she IMs me about a date that is occurring at the table next to her.
Girl: “I could totally be a lesbian… but I am never going down on a girl”
Then, my dear, you *could* do it, but not very successfully. And really, if you’re going to make that lifestyle choice with all the baggage that can come along with it, why aim for mediocrity?
Guy: Hell comes from Dante’s Inferno—
Girl: —the pizza place?
Guy, friend on IM and me: *stunned silence*
I’ve got nothing to add to this. It’s perfect as it is
Moral of the story. Be careful when saying stupid things next to a girl on a computer. She’s telling her friend 3000 miles away what an idiot you are.
Tags: dante, date, haha, hell, IM, inferno, lesbians, tubes
May 29th, 2008
I totaled my beloved Saab this morning.
I’m sore, bruised, scraped and mostly pissed off. It was my fault. The guy I hit (who didn’t take the brunt of it, since I was almost able to go into the barrier instead, but not quite) is okay, but was limping. His mini van was a rental and the bumper and the back were a little dented, but nothing crazy.
My car, it is fucked. I only had liability. I don’t even really want to think about it now. I just want to take a nap.
ETA: I just re-read this. It’s a lie. The worst morning ever was the one where my dad died, followed by the times I got caught sneaking back in from staying out all night as a teenager or running away. This is possibly the third or fourth worst morning ever.
May 22nd, 2008
What I’d like to do with my $600 check, which I should be getting around June 13th:
Get a new digital camera to replace the wet one: $250
Replace my brakes: $350
Pay for my ticket back from Fattyburger: $315
Buy my Rollercon ticket: $207
Take my cats to the vet: $150
Pay my mom back for the money she lent me to pay my taxes: $1000
Total: $2,272
Hm… I think I need to rejig my math. I didn’t even put any skate upgrades on there.
Tags: math, money, taxes
May 21st, 2008
Hi! Welcome to my pity party! Do you want to hear all about how my knee still hurts and I’m not skating? Do you? No? How about I tell you the one about how my knee pain is making me cranky? Hmm, you heard that one already? What? Twice? Damn. I bet you’ll want to pat my head and say “poor baby” when I tell you about the hell that is trying to make an appointment with Kaiser for an orthopedic specialist? Well, yes, its similar to my plight in getting regularly scheduled pelvic exams, but you know, with a different, more PG rated body part.
Oh, you’ve just remembered you left your stove on? Well, okay. But please leave the beer. And I’ll be sure to call you to tell you how my meeting with a new financial adviser goes tomorrow… yes, its about all the tax I paid… Why are you running?
(I’m fine really, this week is just testing me and doesn’t seem to be letting up.)
Tags: beer, kaiser, knee, money, pity party, roller derby, stupid fuckin fuck, taxes
May 20th, 2008
I’ve been experimenting with zucchini bread for the last couple of weekends, hoping to trade baked goods for massage services with another derby girl who is a super strict vegetarian (ie. no eggs). The results came out really well.
1c. sugar
1.5c. unsweetened apple sauce
1c. vegetable oil (I subbed in some olive oil when I ran out… it seemed fine)
3tsp. vanilla
3c. + 2tbsp flour
1tsp. baking soda
1tsp. baking powder
3tsp. cinnamon
2c. (or whatever you have on hand) zucchini grated
1/4c. water if necessary
Mix first 4 ingredients together in a large bowl with a hand mixer. Sift together dry ingredients into a smaller bowl. Add dry to wet while mixing, I would add about a cup or so at a time. At this point, the dough is going to seem a little dry, don’t worry! Add your zucchini in, which will add some moisture, especially if you grate it right over the bowl. If your dough is still really sticky, add in the water a little bit at a time.
Bake at 375 for 40-50 minutes.
Notes: When I made this recipe with eggs, I used 3 eggs instead of the applesauce and two cups of sugar, baking for a full hour at 375. It was way too sweet and a little drier. I really liked the texture better with the applesauce. The next time I make this, I’ll try 1c. applesauce and 2 eggs, keeping the sugar where it is.
Tags: baking, recipe, vegan, zucchini
May 19th, 2008
I have difficulty saying: mustache
I can never spell correctly: restaurant (thanks spell check)
Pairs I love: puppy biscuit; dental pick
Shakespearian character with the most fun to say name: Polonious
Feel free to add some of yours. I’m having some writing blockage so help me out with some lovely lovey words.
May 13th, 2008